From the Journal of Aaron Golby…(Wed. 3/4/09)

One of the best lessons I’ve learned is how prideful & sinful I am. Some have written that “pride is the root of all sin” (Thomas Aquinas said “Self-love and not pride, is the beginning of every sin”). Pride is the expression of an inaccurate view of myself, and an inaccurate view of the holy God. An inaccurate view of myself, a sinful man who is naturally inclined to rebel against God and be utterly infatuated with sin & sinful pleasure (as opposed to true, holy pleasure/desire), and an inaccurate view of the holy God, who is perfect, and omnipotent. I am capable of more evil than I can imagine, or would like to admit. How can I think myself any better, or any less inclined to evil than any other human? If not for the grace & protection of God, and His transformative work by His Spirit through Jesus, I would sin even more than I do, and even more wretchedly than I do.

Why am I surprised when I sin? Why am I so surprised when I mess something up, or don’t follow through on a commitment as I should, arrive later than I promised, or numerous other ways that I don’t match up to who I think I am. Why am I so shocked that my heart is darker and more prone to evil than I think it to be? I am a filthy sinner, and naught else can I do but fall on the grace of God given to me through the cross-shed blood of the risen Christ. Why am I surprised when I struggle to set aside time to merely be still, and to listen to the God of the universe, or merely sit and admire Him, and rest more deeply and calmly and thankfully, in the hope He has promised me, and being controlled by His own Spirit whom He has given as a “guarantee/down payment”. The Father knows His plan, and is not some “busy, eager, somewhat frustrated Father hurrying about seeking help to carry out His benevolent plan to bring peace and salvation to the world” (A.W. Tozer). Rather, this is the God of the entire universe, and He is fully in control.

I love the Bible, and I try to remind myself daily that the God of the universe is speaking to me this very day. It is the very Word of God, written down in the Bible. Do you realize that this very moment? That the all-knowing, all-powerful Being who designed everything, even me, has revealed Himself to me, and that Jesus Christ is the image of, and exact representation of the invisible God. A God so personal that He communicates to humans like you and me. He has ordained that I would open up the very pages of the Bible that I read, and will read today, and I long to know the wisdom of the all-wise God, and experience and know the love of the God who “is love.” This God speaks, and He does so to me. And to you. Oh, that we would recognize that more often, and understand that more deeply, and that our hearts would be opened to it more greatly. My prayer is, would you give me mercy that I might hear and understand, and repent of my sins and worship you more fully and know you more deeply and intimately.

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About Aaron Golby

Christian. Husband to Katherine.
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